Not that there's a good time to be caught smoking pot, Geovany Soto picked the best news day in the history of mass media to break the news about his positive drug test. The only downside of the timing in the news cycle is that it's really too soon to be making Michael Jackson jokes; so people (i.e. me) are bludgeoning Geo with their funny bones.
So, to continue that trend, here are some Cub-related lyrics to a drug-related song (by the end of it, you might be wondering if this whole season is up in smoke):
I went and hit a three run jack, because I got high.
Lou and Milton Bradley talked a little smack, because they got high.
We almost let the Sox come back, and I know why, yeah,
Because we got high, because we got high, because we got high.
We made Kevin Gregg our closer because we got high.
Then they leaked the news about Sammy Sosa because he got high.
Jim Hendry traded Mark DeRosa, and I know why, yeah,
Because he got high, because he got high, because he got high.
For the most part Lou's been mellow because he gets high.
Milton is a ten-million-dollar fellow 'cuz Hendry got high.
And Moises' hands looked yellow*, and I know why, yeah,
Because he got high, because he got high, because he got high.
Carlos Marmol just walked someone else, because he got high.
We'll be lucky if this team ever sells, (the economy ain't high).
We just blew another W for Wells, and I know why, yeah,
The bullpen got high, the bullpen got high, the bullpen got high.
Soriano dropped a routine fly, because he got high.
He offered at a ball that was a foot outside, yep, he's still high.
He'll be hitting leadoff 'til the day I die, and I know why, yeah,
Because Lou got high, because Lou got high, because Lou got high.
We got runners at first and third, but then we got high.
If we don't score, that would be absurd, unless we get high.
Hey, I could really go for dessert, and I know why, yeah,
Because we got high, because we got high, because we got high.
This team used to always choke, but then they got high.
In the playoffs they were a joke, but then they got high.
They're tryin' to be the champions of smoke, and I know why, yeah-hey,
So they can get high, so they can get high, so they can get high.
Okay, I think I just killed hordes of brain cells just composing that song. I apologize to any of yours I've done in.
*Yeah, I know, Moises Alou hasn't been on the team for 5 years. Sue me.
